Waking Down in Mutuality®

also known as Waking Down®

“Waking up” is associated with getting enlightened or free by rising out of imprisonment in your karma, body-mind, and relationships, even this whole world. It’s an ancient spiritual impulse in us humans.

Waking Down differs from waking up out of life. In it, you “fall” simultaneously into impersonal Being and your bodily personhood. Then you bring that infinite Self-realization into life. And you do that in relational “mutuality”—“Other-realization”—which becomes powerfully transformative.

“Saniel Bonder is one in whom the Conscious Principle is awakened, and he is attempting to forge a new path of mutuality in the midst of ordinary, messy, everyday realities — and Linda Groves-Bonder is a brilliant teacher in her own right.”
– Ken Wilber

Who can benefit? No special attributes, credentials, or styles of living or behaving guarantee an individual's readiness for this evolutionary liberation. Spiritual seekers or achievers aren’t necessarily prepared to Wake Down in Mutuality.

Who does it work for? Perhaps you if…

  • You feel “Hungry”

  • You’ve tried to awaken and, even if you’ve succeeded, still feel empty or incomplete

  • Your life is working well, but you feel something essential is missing

  • You’ve aspired to find your true self with all your heart and are beginning to despair

  • Or, you’ve aspired and despaired so much that you suspect nothing will ever really satisfy your primal yearning for what you may not even have words to describe
You may have any kind of career, intimate life, or family, or none. You may be male or female, young or old, with an extensive spiritual history, or little, or none. You may be practicing spiritual or personal disciplines right now, and yet still feel hunger, dissatisfaction, pain, or futility.

Or you may just be attracted to our juicy community!

Transmission. If you’re hungry… eat! Those of us who serve as teachers directly impart this awakened condition to clients or students. More precisely, we transmit an energy and intelligence that turns up the flame of that condition’s “pilot light” in their hearts. We communicate this “Being-force” through personal meetings, by phone, and email, and through books and other writings, audio recordings, videos, photographs, and other media.

How do you know this communication or transmission is happening? You find a new energy, hope, or liveliness stirring in your core. You notice something indefinable shifting in you. You may go through difficult purifications. Or feel like you’re coming home to yourself. By templating on this awakened essence in us, you bring what’s potential in yourself into full, vivid realization.

Waking. The key to awakening is to explore and realize consciousness, Being, or essential happiness or joy, so that it becomes the foundation of everyday living. We help you customize your exploration. As Linda says, “This is not a cookie-cutter process!”

Down. Along with awakening your impersonal divine nature, this work naturally draws you down into your ordinary, human personhood. We speak of “greenlighting.” You get so much permission from others here to be real that you begin to give a green light to all of who you are as a person: the dark, difficult, shadowy fears, self-negations, and reactivity, along with all your virtues, strengths, and brightness.

As it turns out, catalytic magic comes through these encounters with dark, difficult zones in yourself and others. In our meetings, workshops, and relationships, we learn to relax deeply into these primitive places of wounding, betrayal, fear, and distress. By becoming conscious there, we empower ourselves to create an increasingly integrated daily life.

Mutuality. Living in real relationships, though you feel the “sameness” of the One Spirit with others, you can’t set yourself up as a vast Self supposedly free of mundane limitations. While abiding as “Big Self,” you find you have to relate to others as a relative self who doesn’t perfectly know them and can’t control them. This leads you to vulnerably communicate with them. Thus, “mutuality.”

Mutuality means being as true as you can be to your own total Self while cooperating with others who are doing the same. Sounds straightforward…but among people emerging as profoundly integrated, divinely human beings, it’s huge. Living this intensely transformative work in vulnerable communication with others delivers both an alchemical charge and a calming balance to our often tumultuous transitions.

Mutuality is not a social afterthought. It’s as crucial to our path as “Waking” and “Down.” The teachers, including us (Saniel and Linda), are especially called to stay accountable and accessible in mutuality. How this actually works out is sobering, humbling, and yet empowering beyond expectations.